Jacob's Letter

Listen, my people, and you shall know how Mike and Jacob stopped the rebel show.

Now I don't know but I been told. Some folks get wise when they get old. And I think we all old enough to know how Mike and Jacob and their Very imPortant team stopped the insurrection and restored the American dream! (Some names changed to protect the decent) When I was seventy, it was a very bad year. It was a very bad year for red-blooded boys who charged up those stairs, with all those mis-led dares. And they came undone, when I was seventy-one. Yeah, I hear ye, here, it was a revelatory year When the committee got, a plan to uncover the plot of the red-blooded boys who charged up those stairs with all their prideful dares and stand-by dares. But it was a better year, when Committee convened to hear from barrister Jacob Grebbs, after the insurrection dregs. Now I don't know but I been told: Ole Daniel prayed, in days of old. And he said to Ole king Neb: You, mister Prez, have made a decree that every tom dick and harry and dick and jane and robert e lee who shall stand back and stand by on the appointed day shall be summoned to brand new elliptical insurrectional fray when all shall be called to bear the turd of the lard and fling them hard with shards on the cap'tal yard. But Jacob helped to stop the insurrection's scheme as he was an aide-de-camp on VP Pence's team. When Mike and his crew got shuffled away Jacob chose the Ole Daniel way; he did pray, the Daniel way. He sho-nuff won't gonna get work'd up in that trump'd-up fray He sho-nuff won't gonna bow down in the trump'd down way. Then later, when he was revealing what had happened in the Cap deep down He said Mike wouldn't let the drivers drive him down and outa town. Listen, my people, and you shall know how Mike and Jacob stopped the rebel show. Now I don't know but I been told. Some folks get wise when they get old. And I think we all old enough to know how Mike and Jacob and their Very imPortant team stopped the insurrection and restored the American dream! Glass half-Full